Monday, March 30, 2015

Vladislav: I can't explain why virgin blood tastes better. I guess it's like a sandwich, it just tastes better if you know nobody else has fucked it.


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What We Do in the Shadows is a mockumentary from New Zealand. I saw it last night, and it's really funny. Four vampires -- 8,000-year-old Petyr; 862-year-old Vladislav; 379-year-old Viago; and 183-year-old Deacon -- have ended up in a suburb of Wellington, New Zealand. A documentary film crew has been given access to them as they prepare for the "Unholy Masquerade", an annual party given by vampires. The troupe hasn't adapted well to the 20th century, much less the 21st, and are fairly ignorant about things like cable television, mobile phones, selfies, and the Internet.

When the vampires try to kill Nick, a 20-year-old involved in an alternative lifestyle, they accidentally turn him into a vampire. This leaves them with someone who doesn't want to obey the rules, thinks being a vampire is cool (he tries to pick up girls in clubs with the line, "You know Twilight? The guy in Twilight? I'm that guy"), and generally up-ends the lives of the stuffy older undead.

The film, by Oscar-nominated actor and filmmaker Taika Waititi (Boy) and comic actor Jemaine Clement (Flight of the Conchords) is very funny, and includes a huge number of riffs on reality television shows, modern vampire films, and even the Underworld film series. It's excellent.


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Stu: Hi, my name is Stu, uh, I work in...
The Beast: Louder!
Stu [louder]: Hi, my name is Stu. I'm a software analyst. I work for a geographic information system company.
The Beast: Sorry, what is it?
Stu: I work for a company that does...basically, we take, like, business requirements from organizations. Then we analyze those requirements, and then we build software to fit those requirements.
The Beast: He is a virgin!


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Declan: Ow! What the fuck did you do that for?!
Anton: Hey! Don't swear. What are we?
Declan [ashamed, mumbling]: Werewolves not swearwolves.



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